The Incontiguous Brick

July 29, 2007

What we pay for a gallon of gas

Filed under: Environment,Money,Oil,Our World — iknowkeith @ 8:53 am

More infomation and similar graphics can be found at the official EIA website.


Crude Oil – the monthly average of the composite refiner acquisition cost, which is the average price of crude oil purchased by refiners.

Refining Costs and Profits – the difference between the monthly average of the spot price of gasoline or diesel fuel (used as a proxy for the value of gasoline or diesel fuel as it exits the refinery) and the average price of crude oil purchased by refiners (the crude oil component).

Distribution, Marketing Costs and Profits – the difference between the average retail price of gasoline or diesel fuel as computed from EIA’s weekly survey and the sum of the other 3 components.

Taxes – a monthly national average of federal and state taxes applied to gasoline or diesel fuel.



  1. […] […]

    Pingback by What Americans pay for a gallon of gas « Libtech in LibrarianLand — July 29, 2007 @ 11:28 am | Reply

  2. marketing. haha.

    Comment by andyfox1979 — July 29, 2007 @ 3:04 pm | Reply

  3. Gassed up

    As college students gas really beats the crap out of our wallets Plain and Simple.
    So take a look at this post, I found it quite interesting…
    Take it or Leave it….

    Trackback by College Health — July 29, 2007 @ 3:09 pm | Reply

  4. […] What we pay for a gallon of gas More infomation and similar graphics can be found at the official EIA website. [image] Crude Oil – the monthly average […] […]

    Pingback by Top Posts « — July 29, 2007 @ 4:58 pm | Reply

  5. To be complete you would have to count the subsidies we pay to the oil companies that are taken out or our income taxes, as well as the portion of the military budget that is used to secure our supply of oil. There also should be some accounting of the costs associated with the side effects of using oil i.e. health problems from air pollution and the proportion of global warming that is caused by cars.

    Comment by Michael — July 29, 2007 @ 6:08 pm | Reply

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    Pingback by Cum am aflat ca am primit un paket « Pelicanul sau babuta — July 29, 2007 @ 9:01 pm | Reply

  7. hmmmmm gasoline? petrol? not for me thanks, i ride a bicycle. over 800 miles in the last month. you can do it americans, seriously.

    Comment by militantcyclist — July 29, 2007 @ 10:05 pm | Reply

  8. And yet America still has some of the cheapest gasoline prices in the world. It’s about time America learned to reduce its oil / energy consumption, perhaps if gas taxes were doubled you would think twice before getting in the car. But what an instant effect it would have on the environment.

    Comment by Paul Baylay — July 30, 2007 @ 1:13 am | Reply

  9. We Americans like our gas! And down here in HOTlanta there will be no bike riding in the summer.

    sidenote: we pay more for a gallon of mayonaise or peanut butter than we do for a gallon of gas…the stuff is pretty cheap.

    Comment by grahamlutz — July 30, 2007 @ 5:02 am | Reply

  10. Guess what… in Germany we pay 66% taxes on gas.

    Comment by Klaus Rollenhagen — July 30, 2007 @ 5:20 am | Reply

  11. Very good point, Michael. I wonder if there are some simple references on that.

    Comment by abbydonkrafts — July 30, 2007 @ 6:03 am | Reply

  12. @militantcyclist:

    HA! Have you ever been to America? A lot of the place doesn’t even have sidewalks. Where I live, it’s only 10 miles to work. However, there’s no way for me to ride a bike even in my own neighborhood. There are no sidewalks, but plenty of hills and curves to make it lethally dangerous. Sidewalks only appear in the last half mile (in the actual “city”). I’ve even contemplated buying a motorcycle to at least improve emissions, but people pretty much agree with my assessment of the risks around here. There are too many blind areas and sheer drops on each side of the road. No escape of someone appears around a curve or over a hill without noticing you.

    The gas saved would not be worth it when a transfer truck or even a regular vehicle finally hits you. So, I’ll settle with the fact that I moved to be 10 miles from work instead of the previous 40.

    Comment by abbydonkrafts — July 30, 2007 @ 6:08 am | Reply

  13. Exxon just made $10 BILLION in PROFIT in the last quarter (aka 3 months). Doesn’t it just seem a little INSANE?
    Gas prices are just like prices of diamonds. They limit the amount that’s on the market so they can charge whatever they want. And yes it is true, Americans pay for a gallon of gas what Europeans pay for a liter. In all fairness, we should be paying about $8 a gallon, but people would freak out. But there’s nothing fair about gas prices and these evil creatures.

    Comment by dianarn — July 30, 2007 @ 7:02 am | Reply

  14. I don’t know why you are all moaning about the cost of gas!!! We pay in your money $8.00 per gallon! so be pleased you are only paying $3.09!! maybe if you didn’t have such gas guzzling cars messing up the environment you wouldn’t be moaning!

    I was in the states in 2004 and was watching the tv ads in our hotel room one night – “come down to Steves Car lot… this *** make car does a whopping 27 miles to the gallon!” 27 miles!!! thats not a good thing!!!!

    My car does 40- 45 miles to the gallon – yes its small and i know it doesn’t have a v6 engine – more like a 1600 engine – but its economical and less harmful that some of the cars out there in the states!! My 36 yr old Camper does 20 miles to the gallon – and she is a historical vehicle!!! (she is rarely used anyhow)

    get out of the dark ages! Work with the Future – think about your environment – Actually listen to your countryside… its screaming out for help!

    sorry for moaning! but it greives me that you are more worried about your pockets than the furture of the world for your children and your childrens children …..

    Comment by poppyperfection — July 30, 2007 @ 7:11 am | Reply

  15. What we pay for gas – to freakin’ much! I understand the refining and tax percentages, but do they really need to market gas? I think not, it’s a necessity that most people can’t live without – especially in West Texas where I live. You’re not within walking distance from anywhere,even in town, and there is virtually no public transportation system.

    Comment by valerie — July 30, 2007 @ 7:34 am | Reply

  16. Crossing the boarder from Arizona to California I noticed a $1.00 increase in gas. The last gas station in AZ was selling for 2.79 / Gal, the first in California had the same brand of gas for $3.79. This is in part due to the “additives” mandated by California.

    Comment by Erik — July 30, 2007 @ 8:25 am | Reply

  17. Cry babies! If you don’t like the price of gas, then just like any other product, don’t buy it.

    “But I have to drive to work.”

    Well now, did Exxon and BP make you do that too? Right, I forgot, those evil oil companies created urban sprawl as well and made your dumb ass move into the suburbs, away from all those poor/dark people. You hypocrites!

    Do any of y’all think things through when you have this crazy idea that the government could run oil companies any better or tax them into “fixing” prices? The price is low and most of all, the supply is high. No lines, no waiting. This is the goal in a free market economy. Economics 101, price fixing—trying to manipulate supply and demand—increases price and decreases supply. This is not theory, it’s fact.

    Also, are you saying that a company that makes over a certain amount or percent should have it forcefully taken away and redistributed? Should we do that for your 401K too? How about your paycheck after you’ve paid all your bills? No? Well then, you’re evil and greedy just like those oil companies you hate.

    I know, you have a solution. Let’s have the government control us some more. Yay!!! Yep, you’re right; the government always makes things better when they try to help. Here’s the scariest thing you could ever hear: “I’m with the government, and I’m here to help.”

    Comment by holydogwater — July 30, 2007 @ 8:29 am | Reply

  18. I don’t know what you’re all complaining about. In the UK, gas (or petrol as we like to call it) is the equivalent of around $10/gallon.

    Comment by GeekBoy — July 30, 2007 @ 9:14 am | Reply

  19. Public transportation is good enough in Europe that you don’t necessarily need a car. In my city it is unreliable at best. If I could get good public transportation I wouldn’t drive.

    Comment by wailin — July 30, 2007 @ 9:51 am | Reply

  20. Don’t you see that we live on an ant farm?

    Comment by Paul — July 30, 2007 @ 10:54 am | Reply

  21. An ant farm with lots of food and any dream fulfilled that you don’t mind working for. Better than living in Africa where there’s no farms—food or otherwise—to live on.

    I just love it when people complain about living in a country of pure paradise that billions around the world would die just trying to reach.

    Comment by holydogwater — July 30, 2007 @ 11:28 am | Reply

  22. I take public transportation in my city up here in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, population 600,000. It’s a fifteen minute chauffeur driven cruise on an express route. Costs under $2.00CDN per trip. Can’t be beat. No driver’s license, no registration, no insurance, no parking, no gas.

    Comment by grant czerepak — July 30, 2007 @ 1:50 pm | Reply

  23. Wow!!! that was a great post.

    Comment by rgrone — July 30, 2007 @ 5:26 pm | Reply

  24. Consider: the population density of the US is less than half of Europe. That was merely a side-note.

    The problem is not called taxes, it’s pronounced the EPA’s MPG rules. Government exists to force the greedy (aka BIG OIL, FORD, GM, etc) to be more efficient. Really, they shouldn’t care, they’ll end up taking the same outrageous profits and passing it along to the consumer. After all, they EARNED that 12 million dollars last year.

    Comment by Brad — July 30, 2007 @ 6:08 pm | Reply

  25. i guess we have to shift to other renewable energy.

    Comment by jean — July 31, 2007 @ 1:24 am | Reply

  26. FOR GRAHAMLUTZ: Seriously? Oh no poor little ATLians, its too hot? Give me a break. A little minor discomfort is enough to keep americans from excersisng? A little minor discomfort is enough to keep you from doing your part to reduce pollution? A little heat? Ive been to atlanta and ive seen HUNDREDS of people on bikes on a given day. YOU are too lazy to get off your rear and deal with it. And trust me, if you were riding a bike and i was riding a bike you would be exerting yorself nowhere near the level that i ride at. Ive been in races in over 100 degree temps. I hope you have fun sitting in your air conditioned house watching your little glowing box before you get in your air conditioned car and drive to your air cinditioned corporate robot job. Get a life. What do you think people did before a/c? They delt with it, like real humans should. Quit being a robot. Life hurts, and sometimes you have to suck it up and do something that may be a little uncomfortable for you so that the greater good prevails.

    “We Americans like our gas! And down here in HOTlanta there will be no bike riding in the summer.

    sidenote: we pay more for a gallon of mayonaise or peanut butter than we do for a gallon of gas…the stuff is pretty cheap.

    Comment by grahamlutz — July 30, 2007 @ 5:02 am ”


    HA! First of all, i live in america now. We came here when i was young. Secondly what do sidewalks have to do with anything? ITS ILLEGAL TO RIDE BIKES ON SIDEWALKS IN MOST OF THE STATES IN THIS COUNTRY. I cant stand seeing people riding bikes on side walks, they are a nusiance to pedestrians and its not safe no matter what you may think. I hope i am in your city and see you riding on a sidewalk someday. As i stated previously i cycle over 200 miles a week IN THE STREET. Yes you have accidents but you are just as likely to be in an accident in your car as you are to be in one on a bicycle. Google the statistics. I willfuly risk my life doing mundane tasks aroung my flat eveyday, i could slip and fall and die, im not going to worry about cycling. Its not an “extreme” sport by any means. Wear a helmet. Ive ridden in some of the busiest cities throughout the world, London, NY, LA, Bombay…Ive never found a place i was too scared to ride. The worst for me is the suburbs here in america. Drunken teenage white boys listening to rap music probably are aiming to hit me. Although im not a proponet of forcing people to do things that they are not comfortable with, so if you feel unsafe riding in your area, then its better that you dont do it, if theres one thing i dont like its timid, scared people on bicycles it just makes it more dangerous. moving closer to work is a viable solution, and i commend you for it.

    HA! Have you ever been to America? A lot of the place doesn’t even have sidewalks. Where I live, it’s only 10 miles to work. However, there’s no way for me to ride a bike even in my own neighborhood. There are no sidewalks, but plenty of hills and curves to make it lethally dangerous. Sidewalks only appear in the last half mile (in the actual “city”). I’ve even contemplated buying a motorcycle to at least improve emissions, but people pretty much agree with my assessment of the risks around here. There are too many blind areas and sheer drops on each side of the road. No escape of someone appears around a curve or over a hill without noticing you.

    The gas saved would not be worth it when a transfer truck or even a regular vehicle finally hits you. So, I’ll settle with the fact that I moved to be 10 miles from work instead of the previous 40.

    Comment by abbydonkrafts — July 30, 2007 @ 6:08 am”

    Comment by militantcyclist — July 31, 2007 @ 8:43 am | Reply

  27. Wow, in canada and in UK we pay waaaaay more tax.

    Comment by Kevin Archibald — July 31, 2007 @ 11:31 am | Reply

  28. Whoa!! Easy there…I never said I don’t exercise. In fact I do; I run between 10-15 miles per week. I just would rather not show up at my clients offices with armpit stains the size of my head.

    btw, congrats on the fact that you would be exerting yourself more than me…that’, i suppose.

    So are you degrading me becuase I take advantage of air conditioning? should I purposefully make myself uncomfortable?

    I don’t have cable television, and I rarely watch dvd’s. I do, in fact, have a life. I like to hang out with my wife. we go out to eat and go to the park and play games and have friends over and sit on the porch with a cigar and a glass of wine. it’s nice.

    You asked me what I thought people did before A/C. I beleive that they did the same things we do today, they were just a little bit hotter.

    So, in conclusion, “We Americans like our gas! And down here in HOTlanta there will be no bike riding in the summer.”

    Comment by grahamlutz — August 1, 2007 @ 6:14 am | Reply

  29. hmmmm armpit stains? Lets see, thats easily solved. Change of clothes? Yeah. That seemed pretty easy. What else?

    My point about the exertion is that ill be much more sweaty and have an odour than you. So …uh…yeah…cool i suppose, if you like being sweaty and smelly, which obviously you don’t or none of this would even be an issue for you.

    Yes you should purposefully make your self uncomfortable, that is exactly the problem with Americans. Many of you don’t know how to limit your consumption. Most people in the world are not blessed with air conditioning or even the means to afford air conditioning. It wont kill you to not use it or turn it down in an attempt to conserve. But i know you wont do that since the consumer culture has brainwashed too many people into thinking that they can just use and use and consume and consume and there are no consequences for it. Ever heard of something called sacrifice? Try it once in a while and maybe you’ll find it rewarding, although judging by your comments/attitude so far, you wont.

    Nice on not having cable though, thats a rarity in todays day and age. Its great to be doing real things such as spending time with your wife not in front of a glowing screen. The park, games and friends are things that make life worth living. I wish more people would give up cable. Like you i don’t have cable and i cant remember the last time my telly was even switched on. I savor the moments of interaction with friends and family, and relaxing on the porch with a cigar and glass of wine sounds pretty good right now even though its over 90 outside here and i don’t smoke or drink.

    In conclusion, I cant wait for America to run out of gas. Its going to be hilarious! People will be forced into employing other modes of transportation and God forbid, even bicycling in the heat *GASP* SHOCKING!. Down there in Atlanta there is plenty of bike riding in the summer. Ive seen it. You see it. It just wont be you riding a bike.

    Comment by militantcyclist — August 1, 2007 @ 1:39 pm | Reply

  30. Don’t any of you worry about us “poor” Americans running out of gas, because we—unlike your country—will innovate when necessary. We’ve done it for over 300 years, so don’t shed even one tear for us. As far as this Internet thing you are using… you’re welcome.

    Comment by holydogwater — August 2, 2007 @ 7:45 am | Reply

  31. hahahahahaha, I’m not worried about you poor americans. you deserve what you will get. america will “innovate”? not until it has to, and not in time, you should have started already, but instead you would rather bomb some other countries and take their oil instead of concentrate your resources and governments money on developing sustainable solutions to your consumption. When oil runs out, then and only then will america “innovate”. There are too many people making too much money off of oil and petrol products to stop now, they will ride it until the end and laugh all the way to the bank until the end.

    Who even brought up the internet? Where did that come from? Great america invented the internet. And? What does that have to do with the price of gas? If you want to start down that road i suggest you don’t, because I’m willing to bet that your ancestors came from overseas…so you’re welcome for being alive, and thats a lot more valuable than the internet ever will be. Most of the products you use aren’t made in america, so you’re welcome for those. Have you ever traveled outside the states? Get some culture. Redneck.

    Comment by militantcyclist — August 2, 2007 @ 3:50 pm | Reply

  32. In defense of “American innovation,” it looks like there is some effort taking place…

    “In a move sure to impress environmentalists and further cement his Earth friendly image, Governor Schwarzenegger is set to launch a multimillion dollar research effort into a revolutionary new source of clean non-polluting power.

    The project is focused on the Inertial Electrostatic Fusion reactor invented by the award winning American physicist Dr. Robert W. Bussard. The Radiation Free Fusion Reactor has the potential to change the whole landscape of energy generation, which is usually a choice between bad and worse options that include Nuclear, Coal and Natural Gas systems.”

    Comment by iknowkeith — August 3, 2007 @ 1:28 pm | Reply

  33. Mr. Cyclist, You are probably the most arrogant person I have come in contact with to date. America will innovate and it will do it on time, as it has for centuries. No one has “taken” anyone’s oil. especially not the US because I’m paying $3 a gallon, and I know the oil companies profit numbers….so if it had been stolen, I would be paying $.25 a gallon.

    BTW, we live in a free market economy, here in America. It’s not up to the government to do anything like research for sustainable development. by the way, there is no such thing as “gevernment money.” That is MY money.

    Holydogwater, You’re fantastic.

    Comment by grahamlutz — August 3, 2007 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  34. militantcyclist reminds me of the South Park episode “Smug Alert”. A brief description from the show:

    “Stan persuades all the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars. A disaster of epic proportions threatens the town and Stan is to blame — just as everyone starts to feel really good about what they’re doing to help save the earth, scientists discover a stormy, dark mass accumulating over the town.”

    I know quite a few cyclists who definitely get that “smug” factor. I am then forced to work along side of their filthy stinking bodies for the entire day. So Mr. militantcyclist, continue to ride your bike, keep that smug attitude, and realize that even though you change clothes, I am sure you are pissing plenty of people off with your stench. You are probably making global warming worse by all the aerosol Oust sprays that people are spraying behind your back throughout the day.

    Also I would like to note that the public transportation systems in most of the US totally sucks – not to mention the land mass and the far commutes most have to make on a daily basis. We are definitely not part of a “village” society.

    That being said, I will sniff my own farts and continue to ride my Vespa scooter at 75 miles to the gallon as long as I can. I will also continue to drive my SUV to the dump once a week to do our copious amounts of recycling and my VW Beetle into town to do my shopping. For shame 🙂

    Anyone have an ear of corn?

    Comment by not-so-granola — August 3, 2007 @ 5:46 pm | Reply

  35. Mr. grahamlutz,

    Ill be arrogant. Thats fine with me. At least im not ignorant.

    Secondly look at gas prices throughout other developed nations of the world. Even your neighbour to the north has high petrol prices. Your petrol some of the cheapest in the world for the type of country you live in. Why do you think that is? As far as sustainable development is concerned, that should be up to the government in part to help research/fund/subsidise sustainable development. The government has a responsibility to its people to do what is in their best interests. Obviously you don’t believe this to be true but that does not make it so. The future depends on what we do now, so it would probably be a good idea for SOMEONE TO GIVE A DAMN. Be it the government, corporations, or again, a big shocker here: THE CITIZENS OF A COUNTRY!! Wow you might actually have to care and help make a change? I cant see you doing that, because you dont care about your own country and it shows through no matter what you may say to the contrary.

    To not-so-granola:

    You are mighty mature. Not to mention absolutely hilarious.
    I don’t stink. I shower when I get to work and put a freshly pressed suit on. Plus I tracked down the best deodourant in the world, and it works like magic. Im not pissing anyone off with my odour as i smell of Herban Cowboy soap and Burberry Brit. People quite like it actually. What kind of preconceived judgements shall i make about you? Hmmmmmmm? Tell you co-workers to take a shower. I dont like peoples body odour any more than you, but instead of ignoring it i confront the offenders. Buy them some deodourant and show them how to use it if they are lacking the understanding. Oh and back to my preconceived ideas about you…An SUV, VW bug and Vespa? You are the consummate yuppie suburban wannabe. You smell of old white people, your 2 dogs, filthy children, bengay and depends. How ignorant does that sound? Exactly. Dont pretend to know anything about me based on the fact that i ride a bike and i wont pretend to know anything of you based on the fact that you are an ignorant prick. Piss off.

    Comment by militantcyclist — August 4, 2007 @ 10:19 am | Reply

  36. militantcyclist – That was awesome. That was funny. I’ve been served 🙂

    Yes, I do tell stinky co-worker (SCW) to shower once a day, five days a week – and about mid-day, SCW finally shluffs off to take a shower. I apologize for unloading angst against you that I really have with smug SCW – who’s desk is a mere 5 feet away from mine. I applaud you for not putting your co-workers in such a tacky situation. And my kid can get pretty filthy at times while our dog thinks said child’s panties are like dog bisquits. As for SCW, I’m currently trying to track down some astronaut diapers (not depends) so I can sit in them all day for the sensory pleasures of SCW.

    Have a great weekend.

    Comment by not-so-granola — August 4, 2007 @ 11:11 am | Reply

  37. Not so granola:

    SCW! Im going to have to start using that! I dont blame you for unloading on me, i understand completely, one of my co-workers is also a cyclist and he is exactly of the type you are writing about. Luckily I dont have to work directly with him, but i hear the stories from others…yes there are many people who don’t take their personal hygiene nearly seriously enough. YUCK. When it starts affecting the quality of the air around me, thats when i start affecting the offender.

    HAHAHAHHAHHAA YES! Getting some diapers is one of the greatest ideas ive heard! Please please please do that and let me know how it goes! That would be great revenge…and that is gross about your dog, funny, but gross. Maybe just bring in your childs diapers for SCW? Leave one under his desk or where ever his space is…

    You have a good weekend too.

    Comment by militantcyclist — August 4, 2007 @ 1:49 pm | Reply

  38. Holy crap, I don’t check a thread for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Sorry, I was busy being an American — you know, destroying the planet, stealing Iraqi oil, and killing kittens.

    Nothing better than reading the usual comments about how I probably have never left this country (not true) and most certainly must be stupid (not true) and a redneck (and what is wrong with that?), and then in the same breath that same person gets mad at someone else for “not knowing them and still talking shit about them.” Hypocrite maybe?

    Side note: When I travel to the other side of my country I’ve travel around 3000 miles. If you did that you’d be somewhere deep into Russia, so what is your point? Will I be more enlightened about global warmism and the world like you if I were somewhere deep in Russia?

    First off, will you please tell me which country we’re supposedly “stealing” oil from? I hope you’re not talking about Iraq, because if you are then you truly do need to get your head out of your bicycle shorts. We’ve spent billions on trying to stabilize that country and protect life, something our country has done for over 100 years. The US military is not the ones killing civilians; we’re the ones standing between them and terrorists that want to do them harm.

    What has your country done to stabilize that region or any region or country for that matter? How much money have they spent trying to fix a problem that has been in the Middle East for over a thousand years and was worsened by European countries last century? Unless you’re from England, it’s always all about “me, me, me” with you guys. Are you from England? If you are then God bless you and ignore my rant; if not, just shut up and continue to do what you people always do in a real world crisis… CURL UP IN A CORNER AND DO NOTHING!

    How many soldiers are there dying to protect those Iraqi children? Our sons and daughters are dying to protect those children and I take great offense if anyone thinks otherwise. We aren’t getting cheaper gas because of it, and if you think so you are an idiot and really should maybe buy a calculator and take a math class. Once again, the world will just sit back and shake their crooked little fingers at us while we save the f**king planet for real, and not by recycling a few aluminum cans. Par for the course my friend.

    Anyway, let’s start with going over what the government’s responsibility is in a representative republic (that would be America’s government). First off, we do not care what a bunch of crazy Euro-scientists think we should or shouldn’t do with respect to global warmism. We’ll argue this point, decide for ourselves, and let you know when we have the solution and fix the problem for you. Those clean nuclear power plants you use… you guessed it, you’re welcome!

    You get to do the same where you live, right? We give you that option to be your own country and make your own decisions about what happens in your countries borders, right? When the Germans tried to take that right away from you we came over there and gave that right back to you, right? Again, you’re welcome!

    Our federal government is supposed to do nothing but protect our borders from enemies, foreign or domestic (not sure how many square miles you have to guard or ride your bike around in). Instead, our federal government is busy doing everything but that. They take 30% of out hard earned money and redistribute it to the “poor” of our nation and other nations of the world, including yours I’m sure. Study a little about our system of government and you’ll soon find out that the states should hold most of the power, but everyday we get more and more like the worthless socialist countries of Europe. Don’t worry, soon we’ll be just like y’all, incapable of real change and innovation, incapable of defending ourselves, and when some third world dictator comes along like Hitler, we won’t be there anymore to bail your ass out.

    So, keep riding your bike and enjoying the Internet we gave you (you’re welcome again). Speaking of never leaving my country; I’m assuming you were trying to insult me and stating that you travel all the time. Unless you travel by bike internationally, I’m assuming you should be thanking us for that whole flight thing too then. One more time, all together now… you’re welcome!!!

    Speaking of thanking America, you mentioned that I should thank you for my life because your ancestors screwed and had my forefather or something like that. Well, if you want to take credit for simply screwing then okay, by all means thank you. Good job. But remember, cavemen did that to dude. Screwing, so easy even a caveman can do it. Also, you wanted a thank you for coming over here four hundred years ago and killing off an entire race of people and then enslaving another for sugar for your tea, but that would seem mean to me, so I’ll just hold off on that and assume you weren’t thinking that one through.

    So, I’m off. I have some more oil to steal and global warming to create. I hope you took all of this as a joke (which it was), since I of course was kidding. I only did it to piss you off about calling me a redneck. I even own a bike, I swear. I recycle too. Or did I go too far? Sorry. 😦

    For the rest of you who don’t hate me and want to save the planet, I’ll give you some help. Over the next nine comments I’ll list the top nine things you can do to save this fragile planet of ours. I hope it helps.

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:17 pm | Reply

  39. Number 9 – Turn your entire back yard and front yard into a farm and grow all your own food. Build a pig pen and hen house in the far corner of your back yard and be sure to schedule all animal slaughters (no cows allowed of course) to coincide with the elementary school letting out. Oh, and instead of using fertilizer, just have the whole family shit in the front yard.

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:25 pm | Reply

  40. Number 8 – Kill all the surviving members of the Beatles. Remember, Paul is Dead. [Editor’s Note: If you understand this joke then you too are an asshole, a dirty hippie, or not one of those douche bag Rolling Stones fans. Strong in this one the assholiness force is!]

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:32 pm | Reply

  41. Number 7 – This one is a two pronged attack. First, stop using beauty products, such as shampoo, soap, and most of all, deodorant. These products, even in non-aerosol form, are very bad for the environment. The second step is to have your car destroyed and start walking or riding a bike to work (under no circumstance should you sell your car to another person just so they can kill mother earth with it instead of you). Once you stop using deodorant and start walking/riding to work, you’ll finally be able to sit in that 10 AM meeting with the full knowledge (and all your co-workers full knowledge) that you care about your mother Earth. In fact, you’ll reek of it. The sanctimonious piety will be dripping off of you as you declare to everyone, “Hey everyone, not taking care of our planet stinks!” To which someone in the conference room who’s less Earth-Aware than you will reply, “Did Bigfoot eat a bunch of Indian food and take a gigantic shit in that trash can over there?”

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:33 pm | Reply

  42. Number 6 – Get a bumper sticker! Everyone knows a true environmentalist’s mettle is measured in direct relation with the weight of the bumper stickers slapped on to every square inch of the back window, trunk, and bumper of their car. For God’s sake, how are we to save the planet if you don’t take that first step of informing those SUV owners how evil they are. What? You had your car crushed and destroyed already? Crap! Okay, either install a small chrome bumper onto the back of your bicycle and put it there, or buy a hemp t-shirt with that same bumper sticker slogan on it. Something along the lines of, “Jesus loves you! Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole for not driving a Prius.”, or maybe this classic instead, “Reuse, Recycle, Re- – -member, you’re still an asshole for not driving a Prius.”

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:35 pm | Reply

  43. Actually, I better not take up this blogs valuable comments space. Sorry. Just read them here if you care. Sorry again about that.

    Comment by holydogwater — August 7, 2007 @ 12:37 pm | Reply

  44. @holydogwater

    That was so funny it hurts!

    Comment by TWOTP — August 7, 2007 @ 2:58 pm | Reply

  45. Comment # 42 –
    You mean slogans like, “Strip mining prevents forest fires”?

    Comment by iknowkeith — August 7, 2007 @ 3:42 pm | Reply

  46. Pretty good. But i cant reason with right wing muppets. There is no point in continuing this as we are obviously on opposing teams, and neither of us is going to change anything. You have your bindfold on pretty tightly, good luck with it.


    Comment by militantcyclist — August 8, 2007 @ 4:38 pm | Reply

  47. citrange bargeese cassandra unbraved pachytene rhinosporidiosis furomethyl overmellowness
    Four Neglected Essays

    Comment by Stoney Leon — June 16, 2008 @ 9:04 am | Reply

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