Disclaimers

It has been brought to my attention that I might be causing unrest with some of my posts. In the interest of avoiding an angry mob of villagers that do not grasp extreme sarcasm, I will list a few disclaimers. It is with great hesitation that I publish the folowing list:

I do not really think Paris or Nicole are planning to surgically enhance their earlobes.

I do not think Chinese people should stop having offspring. On the other hand, Lithuanians should stop immediately.

I do not condone mailing fingers to politicians. Not even middle fingers.

I do not have plans to sell my own poop, not even on Ebay.

I do not believe grave robbery is becoming a “green” industry.

I do not believe there are real dragon bones in China.

I do not endorse feeding puppies to boa constrictors.

I do not believe Wal-Mart is going to create a military and conquer the world.

I am not a Maoist.

I do not condone drinking and driving.

I do believe men will always dominate the world.

I do not believe babies are used to make baby oil.

I do not condone organ harvesting from live persons.

I have no plans to sell my daughters into marriage.

I do not think Paris Hilton will become a Zen master.

I do not believe we will be attacked by aliens… yet.